Category Archives: The View

{Friendship Friday} One-sided Relationships…

This topic has been on my mind for sometime now. I’ve always wondered why certain relationships are one-sided. You know the type where you give give give and give but get nothing in return. Of course I’m not talking about physical giving but time, love, affection and you get nothing in return.

A few years ago I made the decision – if I give I need to be given too. Imagine being in a relationship where you are always the one to make the first move, it does become exhausting and probably makes the other person feel less loved.

I’ve always thought that in life you give what you get but I’ve learnt the hard way that it is not always like that!

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Picture taken earlier today – a rainbow in our concrete jungle

I’ve actually cut out a few people from my life for that exact reason. And I’m doing that on a regular basis. Hard core but it works for me. With 2 friends I actually went through our chat history and I realised they had never ever ever ever ever sent me a message to check up on me or say hello. They only say hello if I say hello first! And yet another friend only ever says hello when she needs something. Said friend sent me a message last December and said she would come see Kanyin, it’s November and in still waiting!!! Hopefully before Baby turns 10 she will come.

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View from the train on the commute to work today

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Sunset on the way home yesterday

I have a big love tank but it needs to be replenished

Of course I know once in a while people have stuff going on in their lives and just need space to deal with whatever they are going through but I believe if someone is dear to you, you WILL and CAN find a few seconds to send a quick message to say hello and let a friend know you are thinking of them

Are you like me or you have a tank so full and overflowing you are ok to give give give and get nothing in return. Please tell me I am not alone. And if you are that type of friend to someone make time today to send a quick sms or email to say hello – it might just be what they need t make their day that much better

Hope you have a nice and restful weekend xxx

Saturday Snapshots {TEXTURE}…

Only more than a few days late! I’m using the mantra better late than never. Joining Marcia as usual for this month’s challenge

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IMG_2256.JPG the sky is so smooth I feel like I could rub my cheeks against it

Hope you are having a good week? I am but I’m exhausted and need the weekend to be here like yesterday.

Enjoy what’s left of the week xxx

Something I learnt…bubhub

Every now and then different departments in my office have a departmental week, a few weeks back it was the turn of the security dept. as expected they had some security experts come in to give 1 hour talks! I was skeptical but I needed the short break (don’t tell my boss)- and went ahead to listen . Very low turn out because no food or drinks were served (that’s always a good draw card)

Wow!!! I learnt I lot and got a big fright at some of the things they said. If you live in SA you know security is a big issue anyway…

Here are some of the things

I leave my house keys in the car and my GPS – no big deal! The big deal is I set home on the GPS to my house – yikes I never thought about it! Now I’ve deleted home from my GPS because really I’m sure I can’t get lost going to my house and if I did, I can set the GPS to somewhere close enough that I can still find the direction home! Lesson learnt

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Second lesson always have flat/running shoes in the car, if your car breaks down and no help is nearby at least have shoes that you can walk a few Kilometers in if necessary

Never let your fuel tank go less than half ( I aim for quarter) in case you are being followed and you need to keep driving . And for that have a plan ahead of time, and know the direction to your nearest police station

Try use different routes when you drive home and always pay attention to your surrounds (many of us are guilty of being on auto pilot when we drive home especially after a long day at work)

if you feel you are being followed try change route and see if the car follows you, slow down enough to be able to see the occupants and the license plate no! This one is hard especially if it is in the dark because seriously looking at the plate number of another car would be the least of my worries. However, if feel I’m being followed I just keep driving

If you have a security system (alarm, electric fence etc) at home test it periodically to make sure it works and that all members of your household know how it works and most importantly where the panic button is. What is the use of having a security system if it doesn’t work or members of the household don’t know how it operates.

If you are being hijacked and it is not at gunpoint, ram the car into a gate or wall (if it is safe to do so) the hijacker (if he is after your car probably doesn’t want a damaged car) and also make sure once kids are old enough they are schooled not too argue or start whining when they are given instructions by mom or dad (or a caregiver) in a situation that seems dangerous

One many women are guilty of – get in the car and drop your bag on the passenger seat!!! Aim to either have it under your seat or preferably in the boot. Number one reason for smash and grab-is to smash your windows and grab your bag or cellphone

And now with smart phones most of us (we know ourselves) always feel the need to be “on” all the time ! Good but be safe. I’m sure you can wait for a few minutes to get home or to the office or where ever you are heading. Nothing is serious enough that it can’t wait. I think as a people we have gotten more lax with security especially as it concerns phone. I see lots of people during my commute who are glued to their phone or tablets and not just on the train, even while walking. Seems we have forgotten about the dangers lurking around – pickpockets about everywhere

And one last one I remember – when you are trying to surrender, avoid eye contact with the perpetrators and if asked to hands up (if you are taller than said human) raise your hands to your shoulders – not above your head as you get even much taller if hands are raised up completely above your head – hmmm I found this very interesting.

I am sure there were more tips but I didn’t write down (as is usual for me). These tips I remember from off hand.

If this helps just one person then I’m very happy! Do you have anything else you would add?

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Just some random beautiful sights on my morning 7km walk yesterday

Ps: the not sure where the bubhub came from but well it sounded rad so I left it

{Saturday Snapshots} BLUE

Joking my dear Marcia. on our colour adventure… This week it’s all about the blues 🙂

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Blue as far as the eyes can see… Women’s race with about 25000 walkers

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Two love-birds with a gorgeous blue sky backdrop

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Seen around… Blue roofs

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Disco night .. Naaaa e-toll gantry . Except it looks more purplish than blue but I promise you – it is blue

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My blue water bottle

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A lone blue bike – seen around

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MandyE just for A and B!!!

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#nowordsneeded

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My first birthday present in 2014 from the lovely Miss Marcia

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“Virgin electric lemonade” from mom’s birthday 2014

A little confession, I was dreading BLUE as it seemed like a difficult colour to picture aside from the sky! But who knew there was so much blue lurking around ….
Thanks once again for hosting Marcia

{Saturday Snapshot} RED

Joining Marcia again this week for Saturday Snapshot. Go check out Mandy’s post too

My red pictures…. As usual all taken with my phone

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Testing out a birthday present from Robyn on my birthday. RED lipstick

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Shiny RED old school car…

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My sis got bombed RED at the colour run

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Open-mouthed concentration “driving” the RED tractor

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Spring is in the air! Though with the temps today you would think winter was just starting. It was 1C (34F) at 7am

How are you doing? Hope having a good weekend?

July Photo a day Challenge 1…

Hope you all had a nice weekend? I did just too busy.

I decided to do the photo a day challenge and I must tell you it is fun. Though some of the challenges are a real challenge. I’ve been doing it on IG so far but decided to post the pictures here too. Will post every few days in one post though I do try to post daily on IG.

Day 1 – red and white. I interpreted this as red and white in honour of Canada day. In case you didn’t know July 1st is Canada day and Canada’s flag is red and white

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Day 2 – something beginning with K – no I didn’t do the obvious and post a picture of my child but it was still easy peasy I use a keyboard at work daily so I did the obvious

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This wasn’t the picture I used on IG but this just seems more artsy 🙂

Day 3 – match

This required some digging and I ended up with this

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That was a box of matches that we gave away as a souvenir from our wedding many moons ago

Day 4- Stars. This seemed a bit obvious to me. It was 4th of July and the US Independence Day . I couldn’t find something with 50 stars but I had the star light from K’s night light

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And on this day K also turned 8 months.

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I caught her in the moment playing and her hand was on the number 8 and I thought how perfect is that picture for the day she turned 8 months!

This child of mine is busy and wants to see everything and touch everything and be everywhere. Don’t ask me who she takes after. Let’s just say her father is a gentle soul. It seems the days of getting posed- type pictures for our monthly pictures are gone. I had to get creative and stuck the milestone stickers on her back and bum

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Day 5- on the table- this was apt as we were the house of plague ill for a week or so and I had my stash of meds on the changing table

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And day 6 – View

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My poor K was feeling very poorly and I was just too glad she got some sleep

And that was the first 6 days of the challenge. I like challenges like this because it requires some creativity and thinking outside the box and also because it forces me to take intentional pictures and blog more often as well

More pictures coming during the week

Have a wonderful and great week ahead xxx

A very costly mistake…

 

Yes, it is turned sideways, INTENIONALLY

Yes, it is turned sideways, INTENTIONALLY. Not a mistake 🙂

 

In a kind of popular  TV series, a child finds out in her teen when she is doing a school project (she had always wondered how come she was dark-haired, Latino looking, when her family were all American blond blue-eyed) that her parents are not really her parents and no she wasn’t not adopted. After lots of investigation, she finds out there was a switch at birth. The big dilemma in this story, the one child was deaf and being raised by a single struggling mom, the other child was being raised by a wealthy mom and dad! So this is in the movies, but it is happening in real life

Oh dear, this must be any mom’s (or even dad’s) nightmare. And I thought this only happened on TV! Well it turns out this happens in real life

So we know I love listening to news and what did I hear yesterday. A case in court relating to two babies who were switched.at.birth 4 years ago. Not in some far away land, just a few kilometers away! The babies were born in a Boks.burg Jhb hospital in 2010!!!!!  I googled the story and there were many many more tales of babies switched from all over the world! Imagine my shock and horror!!!!

In this one close to home, the one mother wants to keep the child she has been raising, the other mom wants her biological child! BIG DILEMMA. Of course there is more to the story but anyway no need to go into details, I am even too shocked . It got me thinking, what would I do? I really don’t know. My heart breaks for both families.

 

I then read another one, about mothers who were in the same situation, one wealthy, the other a struggling single mother. And also here in SA. They both decide to keep the child they were raising, but a few years later the boy living with the struggling mother decides to move in with his real mom and the struggling  mom was kind of left childless (weird). Anyway the kids are now in their 20’s and are apparently being raised as brothers by the wealthier mom. I wish I could interview those kids and the mothers. My heart breaks a little more…

 

And then in another one, the mothers found out 3 weeks later by pure accident. Both are in the hospital and start swapping stories of what happened when their kids were born (as many new moms do) the babies’ birth  weights etc and they started to realise maybe just maybe and after extensive tests, it was realised it was reality and not a just maybe. The one mom had questioned her child’s weight (at birth 6pounds + and then a few days later she was told baby was 8pounds +)  but  no one listened to her. Thank God for talkative new moms …. A few weeks later, they swapped and each went home with their biological child!

What made me even sadder is in many of the cases, they find out when the child is ill and no one in the family is a match or there is some family issues and the dad says this is not my child and tests then indeed shows the child is not only not dad’s child but is also not mom’s child. These kind of things give me sleepless nights, my brain works overtime

And some beautiful autumn pictures…

Am I the only one enjoying the beautiful autumn days we are having

Am I the only one enjoying the beautiful autumn days we are having

 

Sunrise as seen from my window...

Sunrise as seen from my window…

The colour of autumn...

The colour of autumn…

Meet up…

A while back Laura sent out a FB invite for a jozi meet up. I was a bit weary as I know these things can be a bit clique-y. I accepted anyway and thought even if didn’t know anyone there I knew Laura and I needed the day out anyway.

Let me tell you I’m glad I went. It was a beautiful day.

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I knew more people there than I anticipated. I also met many people that I had been stalking following on social media. My best form of social media these days is IG! Love it, speaks to my picture loving side.

Some random pictures…

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And we got lovely goodie bags. Really, lovely is an understatement.

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See, there was something even for my baby, a beautiful pajamas and 2 tea cups in a lovely colour (guess, I can have tea with hubby) except I don’t drink tea, but trust me I shall use it even if it means drinking water out of it. Sun glasses, gift vouchers, lotion, bio oil , lip gloss, you name it, it was in there. All in a personalized bag!

By my standards I didn’t take as many pictures as I would, thanks to my picture taking obsession and lack of lap top. My 16gb phone’s memory is full and I’m tired of trying to delete pictures just to get space to take pictures

See what I’m dealing with …

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Yes That’s what over 3700 pictures look like. Bad for my photo organizing. I’ve just learnt I can back up to google.plus. I shall be using my free 1gb data from the red service provider tomorrow to do that back up.

And to end off the day took an evening walk with my mama and baby. It was much slower than my normal pace but I still did 3.8km

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All in all I had a lovely day. Hope you did too

Now you know…

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Continue reading

Good Neighbours…

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Picture taken at sunset yesterday

Being a good neighbour means different things to different people but one thing I know is having a good neighbour is the best thing anyone can ask for. I find it sad that the common thread these days is for people not to know their neighbours.

We’ve lived in our current house for 9 years and it was only 2 years ago that I met one of my next door neighbours. The other neighbours I “know” in that we say hello when we see on the street but that’s about it.

This makes me sad because growing up life was different. It was an era of good neighborliness. Where as a child I was afraid to be bad because you knew the neighbours and knew they were watching.They were like our extended family. Actually they were extended family by default. I used to have lunch almost every other day at neighbours and many came to house for dinner. First time I can remember watching an Indian movie (and Bruce Lee) on a VCR was at neighbours. I miss those times and I’m sad that life is not like that any more.

We had a stream of unpaid baby sitters/care givers/chauffeurs in our neighbours when my parents would be away. The one neighbour used to take me to and pick me from school from grade 1 to 3 and look after me till my mom got back everyday. It was pure bliss in my little mind though one of the neighbours was even stricter than my mom! Many of my old neighbours growing up are some of my oldest -at least 30 years (yes I’m old I know) and closest friends till date

Do you know your neighbours? Are you close? Can you count on them ?and more importantly can they count on you? What was it like for you growing up? What does being a good neighbour mean to you?

Ps: I’m hitching to be a not so nice neighbour right now! The one neighbour has creeping plants that keeps over growing into our compound and triggering off the alarm and blocking the night light. Need to pay someone to cut it regularly. I keep thinking I should ask them to trim it but hubby can’t be bothered so I’m letting it slide but it’s driving me batty.