Many people are always surprised to find out I have natural hair! Yes you might not see it but it is there.
My mama (please her soul) always wanted me to have natural hair when she decided she was done with chemicals in her more than 25 years ago but of course I didn’t listen because back in the day it wasn’t cool to have kinky hair. Every one wanted pin straight sleek easy to comb hair! Plus there just weren’t products in the market for our hair type!!
Fast forward to 2015 I became an unintentional naturalist. The last time I had relaxer applied to my hair was November 2014! Yes almost 5 years
Getting the hair fried (aka relaxing)
I just didn’t have the time to drive at least 45 mins each way plus the 2-3 hours it took to get my hair done every two to three months with a little new born to take care of. And after not relaxing for about a year let’s just say my hair made the journey
Mid way. Part relaxed. Part natural
Now I have a big Afro which I’m very proud of. There are many products on the market geared towards our hair type and this makes life so much easier plus I don’t stress if water touches my hair because water is your friend when you have natural hair.
I’m still quite a lazy naturalist which is why I wear a wig most week days because I would rather sleep in or go for a quick walk than spend an hour in the morning getting my Afro tamed to meet the world
The wigs always come out to help the lazy naturalist
It helps that I have the same hair as my child as it is a big challenge raising a girl child in a fashion conscious world who doesn’t understand why her hair cannot be like Elsa’s or Rapunzel’s! Yes I’ve been asked that more than once.
You know you have been too busy and missing in action when the running app reminds you that you haven’t been on the road in over 7 days! Time to rectify that! Yes it doesn’t help that it is so dark in the mornings but add to that a 5 yo with a busy school and extra curricular schedule, a 13 month old who has discovered the joy of toddling around, hectic work schedule and a move! The house move requires a whole post of its own … phew!!!!
On the plus side I’m enjoying the colder weather!!! It was a glorious 4C (40F) the other day
Anything interesting happening in your neck of the wood?
Kids can be difficult to please most times but I find that some times it’s the little things that make them happy and tickles their fancy!!!!
Today, K had a somewhat busy day – swimming, health check with daddy – which turned into a 3 hour plus Daddy/daughter date and birthday party (plus I thrive on being busy so cue more things added) but some plans got changed and we were home earlier than planned
Because you need to dress the part to decorate a Christmas tree
On getting home she reminded me we needed to decorate our tree (yes same tree that is out all year round). The usual me would make a big deal out of tree decorating – the right outfit (aka pretty dress, right light for pictures etc (I know I can’t be the only one that does this 😉 😉 but I figured why not. So I whipped out the box of baubles and we set to work.
My child was super happy and declared it was a wonderful day – she had a sit down lunch date with daddy instead of the usual hurried lunch, she decorated the Christmas tree to her heart content … (I have a post brewing about Christmas tree decorating)
And at bed time she asked if we could sleep in the lounge. Normally, I would say no but I could see it meant a lot to her so as I type this she is lightly snoring away on the couch right next to me . Plus it’s weekend and we can relax the rules a bit
What little things make you and those around happy? Are you rigid or flexible once in a while ?
I don’t write much about reading because I find I have a vastly different reading taste to most people I know. We might have a book here and there that overlap but most times not really.
So I was complaining to the one person who’s reading style is somewhat similar to mine (my baby sister) and she gifted me a few e-books. Mind you she knows I don’t enjoy e-books as I like paper but with a new Baby, I have to say e-books have been a life saver. I only need one hand to scroll and I can multitask while reading
Typically I like easy reads that don’t require much thinking and act as a good get away and usually fiction. Life has too much to deal with that I don’t want to get bogged down reading something intense
I read Born a Crime in 2 days. It’s been a long long time ago a book gripped me that much! I just couldn’t put it down. (I stayed up till way past my bed time just to finish it) I laughed so much I had tears streaming down my eyes. Of course this was until I got to the parts on domestic violence (sob sob). I would highly recommend this book. I didn’t know what to expect when I started and I didn’t read any spoilers so it was a pleasant read
Now I’m reading When Breath becomes Air.
I’ve heard so much about this book and I even bought a copy last year which I gave to a colleague to read and never got back, so when I got the e version I couldn’t wait to dig in. This one I know how it ends but nothing much else and I’m currently midway and I have to say I’m learning a lot about empathy and human nature… can’t wait to finish it
After this though I would need a good easy fiction to help me unwind. I started two Liane Moriaty books ( Truly Madly Guilty & Big Little Lies) and I’m battling. They start too slow for me. I like books that get straight to the crux of it. I’ve started both and I think I stopped on page 25 and just couldn’t go on but I promised myself I would finish them. Don’t know if it is me as most people I know loved these books
Have you read any of these books? What did you think? What are you currently reading? Would you recommend it ?
The little lady finally understands this day, helped in part by school and church. They made picture frames and hand print crafts for Dad and she couldn’t wait to give it to him.
The little mister, well at 10 weeks old is totally clueless but it was his first Father’s Day so we celebrated by dressing up and taking some pictures (not like we need any excuses for pictures)
All dressed up
We had a few meltdowns though… firstly Daddy wasn’t home when we got home so he couldn’t get his gift on Friday , then Saturday wasn’t Sunday? She couldn’t resist any longer so Daddy got his gift on Saturday but had to promise not to open it till Sunday.
Added to that Ms M ( her teacher) gave very strict instruction of what do that … get a good night sleep, wake up early and wake mommy up (I don’t like that part of the instruction), make coffee for Daddy (we made tea as we don’t drink coffee, K thinks we are allergic to coffee) and wake him up to drink his tea and open his gift!!
My child can be a stickler for rules when it suits her and she followed this to the letter!!! And even made eggs for him because she thought he would be hungry
Once gifts were opened we headed to church, came back home for lunch and just rested.
Little lady and her daddy
Trying Chef Barbie’s hat on little brother
It was a good day ….
ps: K wants to know why we have daddy’s (Aka Father’s) Day but no Kid’s day. She wasn’t convinced youth day is Kids day
Questions on the ride to school on the first day of the school year 2018
Someone wasn’t feeling mommy’s picture taking attempts this morning and made it very very clear
Daddy’s name ✔️
Mommy’s name: Funso
How old are you? 4, but can I be 5! I want to be 5 😳😳
How old is mommy: 6 … you would soon be big 🤣🤣
How old is Daddy : 44 accurate poor Daddy married to a 6 year Old 😂😂🤣🤣
Where are we going to: big school (yes that is what we call it), but working on the name – she now knows the name thankfully
What do you want to be when you grow up: Ballerina Princess ( this used to be Ballerina Doctor) but this tiger Mama would find a way to bring that doctor back 🤣🤣
What is your favourite colour – this is kind of rhetorical question – pink, dark pink (I think in her mind she said duh…)
What is your favourite movie – Moana but I also like old lion king (aka Lion King 2) our favourite characters are Timoh and Pumbah… we even have a favourite scene and no matter how many times we watch it we crack up at that scene and rewind multiple times
What is your favourite food: chicken burger that you make and meat that Daddy makes – that means meat done on the braai/barbeque (clearly not vegetarian) 🤣🤣
Favourite drink : apple juice and water
Favourite toy: pink sparkly glass slippers with Barbie in a wedding dress dress and a carriage and …..
Who is your best friend: I have more than one mommy – Kaylee, Mukundi, Kago, Anslia…. (guess that might change soon )
What is your favourite cloth to wear – sparkly dress that I can twirl in (no surprises there ) my girly girl….
We’ll ask again on the last day of the school year to see what would change
I might or might never share this, but I wanted to write it down before I forget all the details. It’s been over 7 months already (well that was 4 years ago 😆 )
Baby’s due date was anytime in the first week of November. My gynae in SA (Dr RVR) wanted to do a CS but at around the 36-38 weeks mark, so baby would have been born in October. I didn’t want that. If there was no reason to be in hurry, I wanted to carry the pregnancy as far as I could push it. There was a campaign on TV at the time in the US, that was advocating not doing elective CS sooner than 39 weeks if there was no medical reason for it.
I was having a CS but it wasn’t really elective. It would be dangerous to go into labour, as there was risk of uterine eruption (because of a previous operation from a year before). 3 different gynaes told me this. And like hubby said if I could show him my medical school certificate then we can choose otherwise 🤣🤣
Luckily the gynae in the US (Dr R King) was willing to wait. We had a discussion and he said to choose between 1st or 4th November. I liked the idea of the 1st but it was a Friday and I was like no way, I wanted to have a relaxing weekend before my life changed for ever. It was the best decision I made!!!!
A brief run down of events leading up to the day.
Hubby arrived on Wednesday, I picked him up (ok not me, his sister was driving), Imagine me driving at 39 weeks pregnant!!, went home, changed and headed to the Dr for the last appointment before the birth. I wanted hubby to meet the gynae before the birth and he got his chance. they got along. My hubby is a better judge of character than I am, so if he likes someone chances are most people would do. Though he is also very diplomatic. We discussed the date again, there was a last minute attempt to get me to change my mind but I knew it was not going to happen. We discussed things to do with the dr, when to get to the hospital etc and left to go home.
On Thursday, hubby set up all the baby stuff, the pram and car seat, the crib, the bassinet, baby monitor, breast pump (yes I think at this time I was having baby brains, because I just couldn’t figure it out). I sterilized bottles etc while he did it. Please tell me my hubby is not the only one who doesn’t like to read manuals. He learnt the hard way when he battled to set up the pram. I was still working albeit remotely at this time, so I was usually up very early in the day (SA time) to get stuff done, join calls etc) before continuing my days. Hubby also got some work done.
On Friday, we went shopping and were out all day. Yes I was strong enough, I think if I remember clearly hubby was tired and I was still ok to walk around. We were out and about for at least 7 hours. My poor hubby was worried I would go into labour. I was about 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Got a few more baby clothes, but most of the things were for hubby. I had bought more than enough stuff (benefit of hindsight), I should have bought less especially because we still didn’t know if we were having a blue or a pink.
On Saturday, I went to the hospital to get some blood work and urine test done and got the final instructions on what to do some monday (if baby didn’t come ahead of that). Then we went to get brunch at IHOP and headed home.
On Sunday, went to church, had lunch and just relax and I think by evening the nerves started getting the better of me. I was getting worried about all and everything. Would I be a good mom, what if I didn’t know what to do with the child? What if things went wrong? What if? What if? What if? In the evening I asked hubby about baby names and he still hadn’t decided what he wanted. We had been on this for almost 6 months, you would think he would have at least come up with a few name he liked this close. I had a long list of mostly unisex names (lucky many names in my tribe including both hubby and my names are unisex)
I digress, I should tell you that I started following other moms on what to expect.com who were due around the same time as I was about a month before my due date, big big mistake!!!! After a week, I had to stop reading, people were writing all kinds of horrible things happening to them and one more than one occasion I was sure I had the symptons they described and would go into labour (not the plan, hubby was still back in SA and he needed to be there). Anyway I stopped reading and I was fine again. Thanks to my friend Lola who talked some sense into me
Monday came and I realised I had barely slept, all the what ifs were still playing on my mind, we finalised names and decided on which sets we I liked. 8am all bathed and ready for the hospital, was supposed to be there at 8 as CS was scheduled for 10am. But the hospital was about 5 mins from the house and didn’t really have to rush. Took some last minute pictures at the house and headed out. ( yes you need pictures when you are heading to the hospital to have a baby just because ) Hubby was still undecided at this time whether he would be in the theatre or not. He can be a wuss when it comes to bodily fluid. He kept asking if I would be awake during the op and if they couldn’t put me to sleep. And i had to remind him it is not necessary, it is usually a quick procedure. Mind you we had watched a few birth videos (ok really only one) to prepare him, I had watched more.
Got to the hospital, did last minute paper work, went to get admitted and then get some vitals taken. My nose was acting up as usual so I had to be given naso.nex. All this while we were taken pictures. Luckily my SIL also likes pictures so she made sure it was all well documented. The anaesthetist came and explained what he would do. Next the nursery nurse came to ask a few questions – feeding baby after birth etc and about circumcision if it was a boy. And then the Dr came to do his rounds before the op, he asked my hubby if he would cut the cord and hubby threw a bombshell, no I would not be going into the room. My heart sank!!! His sister was worried he would faint and was like it is ok, I was like no it is not ok. He came all the way he needs to be there. The Dr then told him that really all he would see was my face as there would be a screen and that even when cutting the cord he would see nothing but that it is one way for the fathers to be involved and he encourages it. So he agreed, he was given scrubs and went to wait while I was taken to theartre.
There were loads of people and too many lights, hospitals make me sick and cold. The nurses were very helpful and I had a wonderful male nurse (yes male). His name escapes me but I think it was Jeff. The anesthetist tried to do the spinal but it didn’t work, this was after the huge needle already went in my back (ouch) so he had to go make a different mixture and we did an epidural (I think) It was painful!!!! But I had another female nurse close by to squeeze while I was in pain. And yes I did squeeze her.
I could feel my legs and all and I got scared, but later I was told that was normal and I should be able to feel the touch it just mustn’t be painful! I was cold, I guess from the meds and a plastic heater thingy was put around me to kee me warm. The male nurse was fantastic he kept telling me what was going on and what I would feel and all that. That helped a great deal. I didn’t know you felt the pressure and the tugging, I did but it is apparently normal. And at 11.36am on 4 November 2013 eastern time, my baby was born. I heard the cry and all my fears went away and then the dr i think remembered we didn’t know the gender and he went on to announce that we had a pink!!!! I do have all these captured on video. My SIL who is a dr and whose hubby works in the hospital where I had the bay was allowed to come in and she did get a way with filming the whole thing. Hubby and I were chatting away throughout the delivery (he captured this on camera). Baby was brought to me, I looked at her and my heart melted. This was the last thing I remembered until around 2pm!!
(Edited to add: and the rest is history. Said child is now a fiesty, keeping me on my toes 4.5 years going on 21 Little lady.)